Erotic Humiliation

What is erotic humiliation? Complete guide

Humiliation. If you ask Merriam Webster Dictionary (or any other 'dictionary dot com' site), you see a flat perspective of just a standard English word: Humiliate, meaning a verb for causing someone else deep embarrassment. A string of examples, noun forms, synonyms, and links to the thesaurus all complete the one-dimensional snapshot of the word (and all words that are its synonyms or other forms).

But for you, seeing the word 'humiliation,' and everything related to it, evokes a different state in your body. Sure, it's just words, but what you see is this: Humiliated, meaning a deep erotic awakening that you need right down to your marrow. You're into humiliation - meaning you're into being made a public example of, usually at the hands of a mistress who pushes you to submit to her as you reach a quaking, delicious new low.

You’ve heard of dominance and submission, and maybe you even know about sadomasochism and the pleasure of pain. But if you’re only slightly tuned into the BDSM community, erotic humiliation may feel like a whole different ballgame. But this sexy world is ripe and bursting with opportunities and unique ways to heighten pleasure and get arousal out of compromising situations. 

What’s so erotic about humiliation?

There isn't a textbook example of the state of erotic humiliation. Every day, kinksters cook up new ways to drive their subs lower. And while folks on the outside might see 'humiliation' and think there's only a single way to define the word, others on the inside know there are countless examples being added to our kink dictionary every day.

Humiliation, a noun that's rooted in setting a sub free. Many people have their questions though. In the seminal book on erotic humiliation (complete with a copyright), Enough to Make You Blush, author Princess Kali has some thoughts on outsiders' confusion over the state of this word. “I knew someone who was a skydiving instructor and I would always hear people ask…’Why would someone jump out of a perfectly good aeroplane?’' she says. '...humiliation is the skydiving of the kink world. Why would someone want to be knocked a peg or two off a perfectly good social hierarchy?”

As far as an answer goes, that's about the closest example you'll get. Think of skydiving as one of many synonyms for humiliation. For some, the adrenaline rush and buzzing clarity of shame is a state they crave again and again.

What kind of humiliation is erotic?

There are many different ways to explore erotic humiliation, and no two people have the exact same desires. But in general, there are four kinds of humiliation people gravitate towards: verbal, physical, degradation, and sexual. 

Verbal degradation includes acts like... 

  • name calling
  • mocking your partner
  • scolding them
  • insulting them
  • forcing them to say things they would normally never say

These kinds of acts can be employed during penetrative sex or during a scene. Some people aren't turned on by verbal humiliation though, and instead are drawn to the physical acts. Those can include...

  • Being used as human furniture or an animal
  • Wearing certain humiliating clothing or sex toys
  • Public shaming
  • Impact play
  • Crawling on hands and knees
  • Being used as a human toilet
  • Being spit on

In a class of its own, the most intense form of humiliation that requires the heaviest prior discussion is sexual humiliation. Sexual humiliation happens in scenes like:

  • Cuckolding (when you are 'forced' to watch your lover have sex with someone else)
  • “Forced” penetration
  • “Forced” orgasm
  • “Forced” masturbation
  • Or any other “forced” sexual act

But all these acts come with a major caveat, one that can’t be overlooked in any erotic scenario...

Consent is mandatory at every step.

From beginning to end, it is essential that consent is discussed before any scene starts. When you are in the world of humiliation play, there’s nowhere that’s more vital than in sexual humiliation. Consent is when both parties enthusiastically agree to the scene, are sober when they decide to do it, and feel zero pressure. Without this vital piece of the puzzle, any scene can become dangerous and traumatizing.

Setting out in each BDSM scene, lay out your desires and limits. It’s okay for your desires to vary from partner to partner, or even from scene to scene. There's no obligation to agree to an act that you’ve consented to in the past. Even doms have boundaries; many dominatrixes, for example, draw the line at racial humiliation. When everyone's boundaries are honored, the fun can finally begin.

Find a safeword

Even in erotic humiliation, a safe word is essential. Many people use the stoplight system when engaging in scenes. You and your partner may benefit from it too. To use it, try out these three words:

  • Green: keep going, continue, or increase what you’re doing
  • Yellow: slow down, stay here, but don’t stop
  • Red: stop immediately

These three levels help the person receiving humiliation maintain control, and help a scene like “forced” penetration remain consensual. If you’re feeling nervous, share an article like this one with your partner to help them understand how to play safely.

Surrender to your ultimate humiliation

Looking to dip your toes into the world of erotic humiliation? Join FetLife. Com. Think of it like a kinky social media your family never needs to know about. The kinksters there are kind and eager, and can be your guides to the world of erotic humiliation, while also being your first, sexy partner.

Want to dive right in? Call a dominatrix for a phone sesh. You can often find the best ones at humiliatrix. com.

The words transcend meaning, and while definitions abound in this thesaurus or that dictionary, you know the true heart of humiliation: humiliating, meaning the act of setting you free while pushing you to bow low for your mistress.

Your erotic humiliation fantasy is just a few clicks away – so what are you waiting for?